I woke up this morning and did my morning inventory of what happened yesterday, which is directly related to how I feel when my brain opens (the eyes come later). This exercise is always an interesting but sometimes daunting process. As I made my mental list, I graded myself - of course not on the curve:
It went like this:
Water - not enough
Celery Juice - not enough
Supplements - not enough
Exercise - not enough
Family time - not enough
Weight loss - not enough
Prayer - not enough
Scripture study - not enough
Healthy food - not enough
Beach run/walk - not enough
Dance practice - not enough
Income - not enough
Worked on the book - no (bad Debby)
How many interviews were done - none (really bad Debby)
House cleaning - not enough
Work - not enough
Sleep - not enough
Nice to friends - why did I make that one dumb comment?
Nice in general - stop talking politics! (They started it.)
Listened to music/Whole Tones - good (I got this one down.)
WOW. I felt bad. I bombed another yesterday. Sigh.
Fortunately, there is a little happy, yet delusional, Debby inside of me who is eternally optimistic and believes her Father in Heaven grades on the curve, so He says I get an A+ "Congratulations. Well done. You completed all the assignments given and you did it with gratitude." Well, sorta, but
Even though it wasn't my best day ever, it was good enough. The problem is, I've never been a "good-enough" person. Doing great is required in all things, all the time. Who set that standard? ME? Yikes.
We could probably go back in time and find reasons for never being good-enough. But I'm 70 years old and blaming my faults on someone else, especially Mom and Dad, is no longer acceptable. At 70, or 7, we get to choose how we respond to life experiences. We don't get to choose the experiences - but how we respond is that perfect gift we arrived with on Planet Earth: FREE WILL.
Much has been written on the topic of free will, and it seems too many people are born or kidnapped into trafficking (slavery) by evil monsters - and for that I am always praying and working to know how to stop this atrocity. But for the rest of us, we are free to choose how we respond to the dumbs of others. Alright, alright! Sometimes it's our own dumbs.
Seriously, sometimes striving to do great can be the start of discouragement, which can lead to feeling bad. Emotional health comes with a precarious balance and if not managed well, it can cause depression. If you don't give personal credit for the seemingly little things, and there is a focus on the things NOT done, an inventory list can become a beating-up session. Something else to feel bad about. This makes all the efforts of yesterday a waste, but
Living is never a waste.
My soul-mate Breck was so good at living. I wonder why the ones who are good at living seem to go home first? Or, as I often think, why am I still here?
There must be something still to do or learn.
I think today I learned something. If I see myself thru the eyes of my adoring Father in Heaven, I am not only "good enough," I am excellent. With that thought in mind, the inventory list of yesterday's living would be more like this:
I woke up.
I'm still alive.
Kids are healthy - having fun this summer.
They have great parents who keep them safe.
The tide is out.
I lost a pound.
I made it through yesterday.
Today is a do-over.
How much did I laugh yesterday? A lot.
How much did I cry? Enough.
How much do I care? More than enough.
Wow. Yesterday was fantastic. Even GRAMMERLY thinks so:
BE WELL ~ BE SAFE ~ BE HAPPY
IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE.
PS This BLOG is dedicated to my two amazing daughters: Don't do what I do. Throw out that inventory list. Grade yourselves on God's curve.