“I cannot express how much your letter meant to me today. I am the professional writer, and yet your letters are so eloquent, I cannot match them. You speak of love so beautifully. You express your feelings so well and easily, it seems. I am the one blown away and did not know such a man existed. You make me want to retire as well - never did I ever consider this, just so I do not miss one moment of life with you…”
Romantic Comedies. I am a sucker for them. I’m watching “Letters to Juliet” over and over these past two weeks. Who doesn’t want to find “true love,” no matter how old they are? This fast has opened up my heart, as well as my arteries, and for the first time in many, many years – the young, foolish girl inside of me whispers, “what if?”
What if things were different, and I met someone who could be the love of my life, at this age – OLD? Today, one of the young people at this retreat was telling a story of an elderly lady who had experienced Hitler’s Germany and said, she was very old – 70. It startled me. I’m a “very old lady.” Who knew?
I had the “love of my life,” with this wonderful man. Not a day goes by that I do not miss him. But I feel his love and guidance every day in business and personal decisions. I wonder what businesses he is CEOing in Heaven? Or is he just flying around in our helicopter? Does he have another Grady White? How many people is he Guardian Angel over? I know I’m one and so is my family. Rest in Peace my Darling. One thing of which I am sure – he is not resting. He’s running around doing good.
I ended my fast … To break it, I ate one sliver of cantaloupe. The next day, I ate cantaloupe 3 times (breakfast, lunch and dinner) in quarter pieces at a time. I don’t know when we start adding more calories - but I’m not hungry, so all is well. Last night, after the food, I slept so deeply and contently. I marvel at the peace and tranquility I felt through the entire night. My legs have been having symptoms like restless leg through this whole fast and sleep was difficult. So, they were quiet last night, and restful sleep blessed me. This has been an amazing experience. It’s rained every night this week, the weather has become quite cool and sleeping with the window open, I hear the Elk and horses talking. It’s heavenly. My room is so cold that no one wants to be here for long and frankly, I’ve enjoyed the solitude. Every night someone close by this property does target practice. Some here are frightened by the sounds of shots, but I feel safe. The animals seem used to it and since this is an Elk habitat/preserve, they have nothing to fear.
Today I was able to work on the computer and complete work that I have been putting off for a long while. Clarity and intelligence have been flooding into the chambers of my mind, again. I feel closer to my Father in Heaven than I have ever been. I’ve had lots of time to rest and reflect on my BUCKET LIST:
To overcome the world and master the physical body. To do this, I work every day to see, think, feel and do as Christ does. This process guided me to this fast, which opened up my heart to a lot of “what if’s” and considering the possibility of path changes for my future.
To spend more time with my daughters and their beautiful children. All of you know how great that is. I know I will learn a lot, but what if I’m able to sneak in a few life lessons for them, without them knowing? Wouldn’t that be fun?
To fly a helicopter from sea to shining sea: Virginia to Alaska, raising awareness for stopping suicide. Now that would be the coolest thing since sliced bread.
To finish out this life at the top of my game. To complete all of the projects I’ve started. To see my daughters happy and healthy. To see my grandchildren secure, confident, happy, and healthy.
To laugh a lot, walk my talk, and stop eating things that hurt me. To place God at the top of my desires, instead of certain foods.
To be the best I can be, now. What does that look like? It looks like an 80-10-10 lifestyle. What is that? Look it up. I’m tired of giving you all the answers.
So, my dear friends and family – I love you. More than you know. Please be healthy. Please do not give up.
BE SAFE ~ BE WELL ~ BE HAPPY
It’s a Jungle Out There